I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
