i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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