you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
