I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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