So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have fence marks all over my body
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
