As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
