Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
