No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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