Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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