Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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