i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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