Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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