I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
