The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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