i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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