you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
