Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
