this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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