You made me cry and you don't even care
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
