just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
