can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
