ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So here I am, sexting at work.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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