i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
