not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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