ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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