jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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