They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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