Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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