youre lurking in front of me
Screwed.edu
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
