i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
