I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
