Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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