let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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