i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
