How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
