He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
