it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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