if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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