This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
