I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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