i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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