i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
