That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
