btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
