come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
