is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
