Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
