Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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