But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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