God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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